Tuesday, December 05, 2006

a new page and a christmas song from home

i made an lj account.. you can check it if you want

click here

it's just that mas most of my online buddies are lj users, and my personal friends are in blogspot, so i decided to have the two.

welcome to my page.

new blog.new life(?)


the temp earlier was below zero and i was freezing to death when i got the eggs in the chicken coop. the three hens, dottie, red and blondie seemed happy upon seeing me. (oooh, i'm lovin these chick'ns) and they just turned their backs for me to pat..awww.. they're cute.

we just put up the christmas tree and it was such a splendid sight. that tree was about seven years old, but my aunt kept it so well it seemed like new. as i was hanging up the tree decors, i remembered our tree back home. i can clearly remember that day when we bought that tree. it was a dream that came true for the 10 year-old me. you see, we did not buy a tree in the first years because dad was always spending his christmas in saudi (where he worked), and there'll be no one who will fix the tree, so when my dad had decided to retire from his job, he got me a christmas tree.


time flies.

when the tree had been put up and decorated, we stared at it and admired our work. mom and dad proceeded to fix the other decorations while i popped a cd into the player. it was a cd of my favorite christmas songs (by jose mari chan) we have a tape of that back home in the philippines, and it made me so happy to discover that my aunt has an album of that. as the song "christmas in our hearts" was played, i felt a pang of nostalgia overcome my senses.

i remembered that time when mom and i were singing that song while preparing for our noche buena. i will be commenting on how bad my voice is and my mom will agree with me. LOL.then dad will run down from the stairs and hug us, saying "merry christmaaaaasss!!" "merry christmas din po" i replied. and when the clock strikes 10.30pm, we'll head for the plaza where the mass was held. the wind gently blows on my face as i sniff the air of christmas eve.

it was (and is STILL) the most comforting breeze i have ever felt.

and it will take (a minimum of) 5 more years before i get to sniff it again.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

harry, flags, and thanksgiving

please watch abc family channel 15 on december 1-3, 2006 for a weekend of harry potter. after the last film is the behind the scenes look at harry potter and the order of the phoenix. harry potter 3, which will be shown on dec 3, is the extended version of the third film, which was never shown before.

we've attended a retirement ceremony of my aunt's friend (he was an air force master sargeant). we were five minutes late and the flag ceremony has already started. as we approached the door, i saw people standing REALLY straight, facing the American flag with outmost respect. at that moment, i felt ashamed of myself on how i treated the Philippine flag. and there's people WORSE than me when it comes to respecting our flag. they don't even bother to stop and look up when a flag is raised. i've seen such scenarios in my school (high school) and it was then i thought: 'no wonder the life of most people in the Philippines does not get any better'.


tomorrow will be the biggest event this year--Thanksgiving Day. This is my first time to celebrate that event, and i'm not exactly thrilled with it. i'm not a 'people person' and i prefer to shut myself inside my room while listening to some feel-good music and munching on nachos than mingling with other people and keeping a smile pasted on my face. it's so hard going to parties where you have NO ONE TO TALK to. i'm stuck with my parents, aunt and uncle since i do not know anyone..yet.

i miss my friends soooooo much.

and my form 137 is still on-hold..


Friday, November 17, 2006

lush greens, Deadwood and cowboys

We went at Custer yesterday to bring Dad and Uncle Ross's lunch. Man, Custer was like those towns I only see in movies. And that place in Enchanted Kingdom which looked like a mini-town, I will surely associate with Custer. It's the only place where I saw an actual sheriff's office, not to mention the cowboys having a drink in the bars, complete with the REAL cowboy hat and scarf, and those shoes!

Snow has fallen there the night before and the mountains looked like cookies and cream flavored ice cream. (Ooh..wish they really are!) We ate chicken fajitas for lunch and it was so delishamoose! Sure beats the ol' pasta meals.

On the way home, we passed by the Bear Country USA where the bears were all snoozing on a small hill.. They are cuties!!! =) Aunt Esther took me and my mom on a trip to see the most beautiful sights in South Dakota. We went around the back of Mount Rushmore and saw those rock formations which left me in awe. I was turning on my seat to see all the scenic views I could lay my eyes on. And there, I have really appreciated the beauty of nature.

I saw the famous Mount Rushmore for the 2nd time and therefore concluded that the back of the mountain is not really the one which I saw in postcards.. LOL

We went to Deadwood, (the little Las Vegas) a name not really appropriate for the place because there are no dead woods in it. The pine trees and mountains were snow-capped. The sight was breathtaking. Wish I could have shared it with more people who mattered.

I hope life will get better soon.

And I need my form 137 now.

Friday, November 10, 2006

recent events taken into account..

October 9,2006

NAIA Waiting Lounge

I must say that this is not a good place for pouring out my thoughts in an "accidental notebook", but the big airplanes outside are too good to be true that I should do so. So here go my thoughts on my last minutes here in the Philippines.
I can hardly believe that I will see some snow soon. LOL.
I hope all will go well when we get there. It's hard leaving this country. It might not be one of the richest countries on earth, but it's still the best place ever.. Remember Dorothy: "there's no place like home".
I guess I’m looking forward for a better life, but sadly, I will live the same life with no accompaniment.
I still have about an hour and a half before I leave.. ta-ta for now so to savor the place before I say 'farewell'.

*food is so expensive here in the airport. Imagine having a chicken sandwich for 85 pesos!! duh, I’d rather have two hamburger meals from Mcdo 1.. damn.. I miss that place.

*while the plane was taking off, I had some foolish thinking of jumping out of the airplane to go back to our house and hug its walls. I also thought of imitating the animated Mr. bean who put some lipstick dots in his face and pretended that he was sick. LOL..
I’m always thinking stupid thoughts.
as the plane rose up in the air, I can't help but fight back tears.
I left people and things that are very special to me. I hope I can get through even though I’m a thousand miles away from them.
October 9, 2006
7:20pm-Philippine time
5:20am-US Time
still on board--and still bored (stifles a yawn).. I'm currently listening to some classical music (which repeated itself for the nth time)from the plane's radio which I’ve been listening to for the past 4 hours. we boarded off at Japan at 12pm (Phil time) and waited at the lounge for the connecting flight.
I must say that my first ever plane ride is nothing but a real mess. before the plane took off in manila, I immediately felt that something not good is coming up. the plane gathered enough speed and took off, sending waves of nausea to my senses. I was praying at the same time I felt the insides of my head spinning, and now, it's just my luck to experience another occurrence of an air pocket. SIGH. so-- there's this Lindsay Lohan film now showing in the big screen in front of us, and I’ve been trying to read their lips because as I have said, I turned on the radio for some music and that means I have no access to their dialogues. okay, I’m feeling dizzy again.
I’ll catch you later. =)
Tokyo’s really beautiful..

*hey Japan lovers (wey, jaf, tan, june) wish you were there with me.. there are lots of anime merchandise (can't get enough of them) and if I’ll suppose they're harry potter thingies, I’ll scream.
*I realized that I won't last a week in Japan. we were ordering at McDonald’s and we were really having a hard time understanding their English. LOL (betcha they also had a hard time understanding ME, =D)

October 9, 2006
US Time-12:50nn
Phil Time-2:50am
Minneapolis airport
we're currently sitting at the waiting lounge waiting for our turn to board the plane. atmosphere's really quiet with just a few people here.
Minneapolis is really beautiful. I admire how they organize things and they really consider time as gold. My worst decision so far? wearing open-toed sandals on a SIX DEGREE weather. It's really cold out here--colder than Baguio, and I mean it's the coldest place that I have been to so far, and I guess this would be the farthest I could get.LOL. It's so weird seeing these blonde, red, brown, and gray-haired people surrounding me. It suddenly occurred to me that in here, blondes dominate. on the brighter side, I felt good to see some Filipinos mingling with Americans and the sort.

*the Minneapolis airport is one of the best sights that I have laid my eyes on. My jaw did not actually drop, but in my head, I saw myself drooling and my eyes popping in wonder. there was food of
all sorts, shops, walkways.. oooooooooooh, gotta luuuuuuuuuuuuv
those walkways.. TALAGANG NAKAKASILO!! I had a hard time pretending
that everything's just the usual. that place was WAY BETTER than the
mall of Asia.. to think that that place was only an airport. (wala
ka na ben, di mo na ako maiinggit sa mga mall ng manila, wahehehe)

US Time-2:25pm
Phil time-4:45am
onboard domestic flight for rapid city south Dakota. an hour of travel to be expected. I'm seated beside the window and am apparently too bored for the view of a northwest pathway and a flammable gas vehicle.

*too bad I have to wait for an hour before I go to the cr.. =(

October 22, 2006
my room
westwind drive, box elder sd
friggin miss the Philippines!
I had a great time here for the past few weeks!

Monday-Oct 9, 2006, 3:30pm
we arrived at rapid city international airport. boy, you've gotta love that toilet bowl (which flushes automatically) and those automatic tissue dispensers.. and even the faucets are automatic!!! aunt Esther fetched us. that day's temperature was 4 degrees and we're freezing! good thing aunt brought some extra jackets which kept us warm while on the way to her car. south Dakota is a really splendid place. It seemed so peacefully civilized and everyone and everything were so.. be-e-a-you-tee-full!!! aunt broiled some beef for dinner and it was SOOOOOOOOOOOO delishamoose!! (cannibalism, dude!)

Tuesday-Oct 10, 2006
we first went at the Ellsworth air force base to buy a phone card for our long distance calls. there, we met some Filipinas taking a break at the local burger shop. (and I also saw some lee, Raymond, & Vernon look-alikes.. wahehehe), then we went downtown (Wal-Mart) and did some shopping for our bathroom and hygiene. after that, we had some rest. weather's still freezing.

Wednesday-Oct 11, 2006
off to mount Rushmore to see the sights!! the four faces are like--
"WEOOOW.. are those real?" I was wondering all along how ingenious Mr. Borglum was to have thought of carving them there! The temperature's really cold and the wind felt as if it was peeling the skin off my face. we did not get the chance to get closer to the four faces coz our inch-thick jackets were 'too thin' for the weather. we went home earlier than what was planned. we purchased some gloves and thingies for the below zero temps. we got home feeling really tired. Good thing I had my room fixed earlier this morning. My room's smaller here than my room back in the Philippines, but it's really cozy, and the bed's really firm.. (at last, no backaches in the morning!). I had a picture of a really cute cat on my wall & a porcelain portrait of wilee coyote.. hehe

Thursday-Oct 12, 2006
one ordinary day for me. we went downtown for some groceries, and did some dusting on the house (yeah, there's still some dust because a construction was going on about a kilometer away from my aunt's house). we fixed mom & dad's room and some more dusting. today's my birthday in the Philippines.. aunt Esther said that means I have two
birthdays this year, but uncle Ross said that'll be cheating coz it'll mean I’ll have two celebrations (and more food).

Friday-Oct 13, 2006
my birthday, but it didn't feel like it was. I was so preoccupied with adjusting to my new surroundings that I almost forgot my OWN birthday. we went at the afb and bought the ingredients for the food that we'll cook tomorrow for my birthday celebration. there, we met some Filipino people again and stopped to say hello. after that, we went to buy my birthday present.. here came one of my happiest moments.. to find out that there's only 3 sizes of pants smaller than mine!! and there are more sizes that are bigger.. dude, back in the Philippines, there was NO pair of pants that fitted me. we also dropped by the computer store to find me a computer, but since my aunt was not familiar with the hardware thingies (and so am I), we went back home and my aunt decided to consult my cousins first before buying a unit.
back in the Philippines, I was always wishing that I’ll spend my seventeenth birthday in the united states, but now that I’ve got that wish, I guess I’m still not that happy. It'll be better if I’ll have it celebrated with my buddies (miss ya folks!) and a simple dinner with my family to go with it.

Saturday-Oct 14, 2006
I had my birthday party that afternoon. so there we went, going around the house and cooking (well, I did not cook, I just helped out). we had three cakes to go with the delishamoose food and before the sun was down, I was stuffed! here's one funny thing that happened that afternoon: I went down at the basement and decided to just watch the TV coz all of the er... adults were talking about things that were.. ya know.. out of our interest. I was surprised to see that it was open, but there's no one there. I stood up in front of it and changed the channel to Disney and saw the commercial where raven, chels & eddie were dancing. I was saying aloud "mukha talagang ewan 'tong mga 'to,hehe, nakakatawa" and my usual "ohooow, kowt nila wayvein!" (translation: cute nila raven).. well, ya know how LOUD my voice is.. I was laughing the 'airy laugh' when I heard something. I turned at my back and saw the brother of one of our visitors walking out of the basement 2's door, looked at me and smiled. DAMN, I scurried to get up the stairs and sat by the dining table, and pretended as if nothing embarrassing has ever happened. and mind you, he looked a bit good looking (a better version of PBB teen's mikee) which meant a higher level of embarrassment for me.LOL

Sunday- Oct 15, 2006
we attended our first mass here in the US. the chapel's a bit small.
it's a 2 in 1 chapel where protestants also celebrate their gathering. snow's expected to fall on Tuesday.

other notes arranged in random.. My memory's already full I can't
remember the precise time and date
*there was a Raymond look-alike at the Ellsworth afb gate. he asked for my aunt's id and I was just dumbstruck. I stared at him and almost smiled dreamily at him, good thing I thought twice coz it was til we got home when I realized that the windows of our car were not tinted!
*there was again a really cute guy named Jason at the driver license exam station. My head was flying while staring at his back, and much to my shame when the lady at the counter handed me the result of my exam (I failed, wahehee). My dad passed the exam (I have an excuse to fail coz all I know about driving is putting on the seatbelt) and it was Jason who accompanied him to do the actual driving test.. and there I went, imagining what would happen if I’ll pass the test and Jason would be the one to accompany me. boy, I’ll freeze, and I’ll surely fail.. (duh, how would you expect me to be able to step on the accelerator when I already had frozen like a statue?)
*I love the television here coz I got to watch that's so raven & zack & cody halloween marathons and new episodes without those pesky news reports interfering with my viewing. LOL.
*I started watching hannah montana ever since I saw my sister-in-law in the show. she's miley's bestfriend.. dudes, you gotta watch that show too.. It's nice. (and I’m not saying this to show my support for my sis in law, emily osment)
*I had my first ever "snow fall watch" last Thursday. I love seeing those snowflakes.. I never thought that the snowflake is the actual snow that falls from the sky!
*Oct 22, 2006-we attended mass at this BEAUTIFUL cathedral where everything seemed serene. feels like you're in heaven.
*the first time I saw snow was like our first week here. the wind was really strong that night, but I did not expect snow to fall that evening. the next day, I woke up and pulled back my curtains, and I saw the grounds all covered with white. I hurriedly got my jacket on and proceeded to door to scoop up some snow.. and dude, snow was nothing like the ice that we had in our freezer. It was very fine and it can be easily shaped into a ball (and so I made a snowball).
*you can't have enough cows here. they're almost everywhere.. and one's currently typing. LOL

Friday-Oct 27,2006
9:31pm, my room
I just finished watching "serendipity".. and, oh shoot, it instantly changed my view of american romantic films as those with nothin but the *tootoot* stuff. I was hanging on every word they said and I was simply like.. "awwwwww, sweeeet!!" and I’m currently imagining myself as sara and jonathan could be daniel, rj, lee, haley, or any of my 40+ crushes (the other 30 were 'thrown out of my memory')minus the kissing scenes please.. and I absolutely love the song 'the distance'. Man, I’ve searched for this song the whole time I was in college, and I’m currently listening to it for the nth time. I'm not getting tired of hearing it over and over again.. I just luuuuuuuuv it. gotta love that part of the song too that says "solace", which obviously rhymes with "Solis"..and it might have occurred to you that my description of myself in the yearbook as someone "who provides SOLACE in the midst of distress" was done in purpose so that it will always connect Raymond to me everytime you flip through the pages of the yearbook. LOL.. still can't forget that guy(?).. well, whaddaya know, I might still see him after 7 years, when all the signs then are pointing to us. and wey, happy birthday today, sorry I can't call you coz we just ran out of credits for long distance calls. btw, obviously, my pc's already connected to the net by the time I’ll be able to post this and you can always mail me or even have a chat. I still have no one whom I can talk to about those things we usually talked about in the past. ben, nakuha mo na ba yung yearbook mo? you're lucky you'll get to see galleonie (galeon) again. wish we could exchange eyes even just for that minute when you see him. Tell me about your get together buddies. I long to hear stories from you.
keep me posted with your lives. see yah. ;-)

*in case you want ter know,,hehee, I have 3 new crushes: john cusack,jason earles & lucas gabreel(he's sooooo handsome in dcom's return to halloweentown)=)

Saturday-Oct 28, 2006
we just came from a baby shower and I haven't eaten well. I just had, let's just say, 200 calories, or make it 300. I'm not following the 2000-per-day calorie diet anymore(I’m consuming less than that..yipee). we've cleaned the lawn this morning. yep, it might seem pointless to clean the yard during FALL, but the place does look a bit better now than when it was almost trashed with falling leaves. I was really tired from doing that and.. beat this: ihaven't eaten my lunch.. dude!! PAPAYAT NA SIGURO AKO..wahahahaahaa.. dapat pag nagpost ulet ako ng picture, payat na ako para cute.. LOL.. Majority of the people who were at the party were filipinos, but I did not have a good time coz I was shivering because of the really COLD weather. I was wearing a long sleeved shirt and a jacket but my teeth were still chattering I can't chew properly!! the dishes served were so delishamoose but even my intestines were shivering they can't digest my food properly. My uncle even "introduced" me to a filipino there and said we'd fit, but in my mind, I was saying he-lo, I still have rj to see. LOL again. still, he really smelled good.. his cologne, perfume, or whatever it was reminded me of my ever beloved rj.. hehe.. hey gotta go, maglalaro pa ako ng polar bowling.. hehe.. tomorrow's 'fallback day', kung saan aatras ng 1 oras ang oras.. e.g. kung 7am ang gising ko dapat bukas, pwede ako hanggang 8 kasi considered as 7am na yun..
weird talaga here no..

june, this place always reminds me of you. address pa lang naming naaalala na kita.. peace!!! (tanong mo na lang kay wey yung address,

Monday-Oct 30, 2006
the temp's currently below zero and I’m having a hard time typing coz my hands are freezing even though I turned on the heater. You should have seen my face, bumalik yata sakin yung sumpa kay franz (wAaAaaAAaAAAAAAaaaaa..n0o0o0o0o0oo!!!!) I’m using a product that's almost the same as pro-activ.. yep, the same product used for curing zits.. hate them (the zits)..
I’ll be able to post this tomorrow as soon as I get connected to the internet.. Miss yah pipol..
I bet you have received the postcards I sent.. I have some post cards here that I failed to send.. I forgot to bring them when we went to the post office, and the post office is like, miles away, so we don't go there often.. I'm sorry I failed to send the other postcards.. to those who haven't received theirs, I’m really sorry..
I’ll try sending them if ever my aunt will mail a letter again. tomorrow's halloween.. yep, there'll be trick or treaters and I’ve eaten some of their candies.. LOL.. too bad I’m too old for that..*sigh*
I’ll keep my inbox open and I’ll be online 11:30am-2:00pm, philippine time and 2am-4am philippine time (duh, as if anyone of you will be online at that time).. I'll try to be online at around nighttime in there so that I can catch up with you. anyways, just like what I said, I’ll keep my inbox open in case you wanna chat..you're still on your sembreak, right??

*my newest crush is ned from 'ned's declassified'..I’ll get his real name asap..Hehe

the past year..

This WAS college..

March 18, 2006

college was the first word I have ever written on the first day of college, and it was also the last..

college is the word i lived by everyday of my life, and microbiology is the worst subject i ever had..hehe =)

i was freakin out at the thought of leaving highschool and mingling with people of the other race..

i imagined people of shallow minds.. people who do not care about anything but fashion, gigs, and the like..but two weeks of stay proved me wrong

closing cycles: no one wants to do this, but life itself says it is a necessity,,

i never imagined i will meet the same personalities i have known since high school.. people who do not measure the worth of a human being by insignificant figures..

this block is more than meets the eye.. one might think they're just a bunch of geeks and nerds who is too serious to crack a joke..

we're not

actually, we are famous for our revolutionary minds (mga rallyista, kumbaga), at mga notwithstanding health conditions kuno (kaya nagfefaint)

this is my last day as a louisian, unless bumaliktad ang panahon at mabigyan ako ng chance..

thanks for the company..

i will never forget you and i will miss you as i will miss myself pag wala na ko..

college is definitely one of the best moments of my life..

dudes, you will always be here in my heart..

sana wag nyo rin akong kalimutan...

before i leave..laglagan muna

si marlon, kay _ustria (tanga ang di makakahula nyan)

si jay-r, kay froggy (alam nyo na rin yun)

si mommie, kay vin zon (duh, hindi naman obvious)

at ako.. sina

pl****o, froggy rin, **j***o, **a*...


Bye guys.. see you around (hope so)

Sunday, March 12, 2006

..i hate microbiology

Monday, February 13, 2006

hey dudes..

not that i'm grumbling because i have no date, that is soooo freakin jerk stupid to do so..
anyway, i'll be hanging out with my buds later and i can't wait to see lovers pacing 'round the mall, holding each other's hand and expressing their love (so much for the PDA, eh?)

i would not ask for anythin more than to feel the love in the air..
not the kind of love that includes commitment..
it's just that i realized how broad love's territory is

who needs the crush when friends are there to join in your laughing and comfort you when you're down

parents to teach you how to fight and to point out things you should prioritize

and of course, God to let you live and fill life with memories of forever

valentine's day does not always mean chocolates and flowers
it does mean revealing your true feelings, or cursing that person who broke your heart

jessica zafra said:valentine's day seems like business

right.. cinemas and restaurants are on the peak of their profit for dating couples, throwing away money for all those things that does not really express how the heart feels..

i'm not groaning

a lover is not essential to enjoy this day

i'm just grateful i have my life, and all i wish is for him to finally find his direction

i miss him so much


Friday, December 30, 2005

tapos ko na ang micro bio ko!!!
but there's a flaw.. i dunno if all the things i have typed are he correct words to shield myself from oda's terrifying consequences bweh!
well, at last i'll be able to celebrate the new year with a BANG!!!
kasi tapos na ang 1/100000 ng kalbaryo ko...
oh...yan, marami pa akong pagdadaanan at di ko pa rin nakikita si monmon my lab...
sa ngayon, chuva chenes muna akoi...
(tila yata naging vaklush aketch?)
see yah mah buds!!! i miss yah!!

Monday, December 19, 2005

yang microbio na yan!!!
kahit kelan talaga! kulang na lang, pakainin kami nga bacteria sa sobrang hirap ng test!!! sana nga..kahit kumain pa ako ng bacteria, pumasa lang ako..tutal naman, bacteria si raymond nuon..(pakiconnect)
so..ayun, baba ko na naman sa anaphysio, yun na nga lang ang pinakamadali naming subject, ang baba ko pa, baka talaga ako, oh!
wehehe.. anyway, malapit na ang pasko pero hindi ko maramdaman..bakit?
hanggang ngayon kasi, parang mahal na araw pa rin kasi may prelim exams pa kami..iniisip ko pa lang, para na akong nagugutom, kaya ayan, minamadali ko na itong blog na ito para makakain naman ako..
oo nga pala, nag-freelance na ako.. kailangan ko muna sigurong dumistansya sa mga friendly friends ko para makabawi naman sa mga pagkakamali ko..
hai.. hirap talaga ng buhay, nga pala, kinalimutan ko na ang kulay rosas na hayop na yun..marami pa naman mas matino dyan..
wala na yatang matinong araw dito sa eskwelahang ito, at prinoproblema ko pa ang journal sa microbio..kebulok naman kasi ng library ditets!!wala akong makalkal na apicomplexa sa mga amoy amag na librong yun!!actually naman kasi, mas matanders pa sa kin yun!!
ayan, makakapaglaro na naman ako sa kompyuter ni alron later, pagkatapos kumain..well, sana sa susunod matino na ang entry ko, yun lang!

Monday, December 12, 2005

hai..mga tao talaga..laging nangangarap maging iba..
eh wala namang pag-asa.. makuntento na sa kung anong hayop ka...
wag mafeeling, hindi ka kyut..daig mo pa nga ang acute..
pati c pringles, ginaya mo!! kawawa naman!!!
syet, feeling mo!! kaphal ng mukha! kabilib ka, tol!
mas masahol ka pa sa mga taong kinainisan ko!!
may mas malala pa pala kay jerky grindylow idiot dork!! ang sama ng ugali mo!! bakit pa ba kita nagustuhan!!!
straight ka nga, pero ang personality mo, daig pa ang zigzag ng baguio!!!

life is not so great here, kahit na we're dealing with bacteria pa..reminds me of the silly codenames used nung elementary...haha...

haiii.. sa vacation.. patuloy ko pa ring sinusubaybayan ang buhay ni c****..silo ako sa mga words nya, at nagimprove ang bokabularyo ko, in fairness..pero siyempre, lamang ka pa rin c wey ng mga 100000000 words pa...hehe
hey wey, walang pusa dito..
hirap ng walang bodjie, dagul, mutya at bulok..nga pala, may bago kaming aso, c stoopido at si scoobidoo, kambal sila.. BABY...
sa maniwala ka't sa hindi, naglulukot pa rin akong mukha kapag nakikita ko ang mga pusang lansangan dito...cute kasi..
miss ko na rin si monmon..
gurrrl, homo cya, hindi bi...
lungkot ever...

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

i must say it had not started, and yet, it will now end...

all dreams had shattered when my chum told me about it, i know should not have expected anything...

i had gladly given him up for the sake of my studies, and to find a more sensible one to replace him, but my senses say i should have known better that to foresee anything which, i know will never come true..

in was too stupid to see him, i should have shifted my attention to other things...

till then, i wish for your happiness...


Monday, November 21, 2005

let's get this straight... that microbiology scores bugs me... i hope i could get over it soon... awww.. missin my home again, kasi naman, katabi ko na naman yung bintana, ang lamig lamig pa naman, so the wave of nostalgia overcame my senses... so here i am, feelin totally alone again..

i just realized "greene" is better than "pink"...got my point?
it is simply because...pink is the color of the animal that he represents..wehe...

a question, if you won't mind... we had our psychology a while ago and a question was flying in my mind..


noooo...don't get me wrong, curious lang...


it's freezing here..wish to see bliss in me again...
and i know exactly how to get it...

i need to read..


Saturday, November 19, 2005

cuaron, you jerk...
hey mike..
sorry, forgot your surname..
anyway, job well done..
grabe! haba ng pila...
now, i'm totally certain..
no one needs convincing..
harry potter is worth more than twice the movie ticket's price...
kahit thrice pa!!!
so for you, POTTER HATERS!!!
i'd say you are voldemort's lovers..
3 hours...
i would not mind...
as long as danny's there!
i'll watch this again..


i'm dreaming of goin to beauxbatons now...

though i'm not really of the veela type...hehe =)

Thursday, November 10, 2005

i'm groaning...

and i am kinda freakily jerky right now, wehe!
well, i got the class into loads of laughter again as i did nothing...hehe...weird? yep, the usual..dunno what kind of insanity is within me to make them laugh like that...
hey, im damn depressed again, thanks to that pesky ana physio quiz...i reviewed for the parts of the microscope when i knew all along that she's going to give the body systems...weerk!hey, i just said that the endocrine system is the one receiving raw thingies...
stupide ol' me!
nyway, thanks to mr. cid...you made my day complete again...even without vernon...
i saw anthony mallari yesterday...you know, the guy who looks like raymond and lives NEAR raymond...well, waddaya know! he's here again...
ahmissinmahhome again....
it's hard having 2, you know....
i'm thinkin, maybe i should change this to fawkesonline...
i found my bestfriend in a notebook...and a blog..

Friday, November 04, 2005


life's getting better that i had foreseen..after such a loooong time, i heard mon's's voice again on the line...and beat this...it's not only the 2 seconds thing...

see, mon called my dormmate and talked about some things..he set the loudspeaker so that i can hear mon's voice...and guess what, dude!!!!his was still the best damn voice i ever set my ears on!!!waaah!they had an ordinary conversation, but as the dialogue continues, things were revealed to me...

mon is a certified..."you know what". he had done some "unusual" things that for me, is too...er...sad to think about. now, don't get me wrong, but i think he slowly brings his life to a total wreck...he's not the old mon that i "defended". sigh...now i know, i had been wrong all along...i know i have seen that he's who everybody thinks he is...and here i am... denying, defending, hardly daring to believe it was true...wek!

anyway, the revelation of his true identity only made a dent in how i see him... it's just that his almost perfect facade had broken up into pieces, but the reality of who he is and how he is did not change my feelings for him... and now, i know...

there is still hope for me...

to hold on...

and wait...

Sunday, October 30, 2005

this morning, after doing some reflections and moony moonies, i had concluded this: i have always thought theirs was the almost perfect life. almost everything a man could desire is embedded in their veins. They have virtually everything for people to appreciate - and admire them. Only to find out that i was wrong. They may have the money, the looks, and the personality, which are all useful one way or another. Still,they have faults, which are "unchangeable". they cannot be soothed over - but accepted by other people.
i stared at the places where he had left his mark in his younger years. All those memories of "the other" and "greene" seemed to have leaked out of my brain. All of the things about them just ebbed away.
now, i know.. i have liked him, not only because he is handsome
...or a sage
...or a talented bloke
i liked him because he is who he is...
and that's where this was built...
and this, not even "the other" can change...

Thursday, October 13, 2005

(from my entry in Fawkes: My Very Secret Diary)

Home at last! Ah, here I am, it's my birthday today and I had not felt a single twinge of excitement. Not that i do not appreciate another year of my life, but it all seemed gloomy... Unlike my birthday last year wherein all of the world's luck was beside me. Today had been one ordinary day for me. I filled myself up with some films - shrek 2, spongebob (baby) squarepants, & lemony snicket's a series of unfortunate events. My present and former classmates greeted me and my parents prepared a sumptuous dinner, but I must admit I still feel this emptiness.. I'm really missing my pesky classes.. Yeah, I know they're difficult and everything, but at least I was able to fill my mind with wisdom as each day passes... able to fill my mind with wisdom as each day passes

I'm meeting my high school buds tomorrow, can't wait to tell some stories and hear some..
I sure missed them.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

I'm some sort of er..."sniffy" right now...
It's the start of our finals, signalling the end of the semester. It all started off with our Theology teacher delivering her "last message" to us all. She discussed the recent topic to us, and after doing so, she faced us and sighed, saying: "...And that ends Religion 1". I just can't help but feel lonely. I will miss this class, though it had sometimes drove me to boredom. And it goes the same with our English class, where i was the second to the last of the prayer leaders, and our Filipino class where we had our loooong quiz.. Even our P.E. class was not in its usual atmosphere. Everyone was busy practicing for the upcoming finals that no one had enough time to sit down and chat. I know the exact reason why i am feeling such loneliness... It is because i know there is a huge possibility that this is the last time i will see my blockmates. Yeah, i had been with them for such a short stretch of time, and i admit i was wrong in what i said at first. I always have the wrong impression of things. My high school buds do not get off the line when it comes to memories, but this later bunch seemed to had brought a box full, not only teeming with memories, but with experiences which i did not have in my younger years.
This day went fine, including our quiz in computer and our final test in chemistry laboratory, my favorite subject (ironically speaking). I have accepted that i do not stand a chance with the "guy next row", thereby letting go of my daydreams about him. I had already told my friend about myself crushing on "her guy" and i was totally surprised when she told me it was nothing...
The weather here is so damn good, i can feel it in my veins.. Reminds me of my high school days wherein we usually walk on the driveway, laughing our hearts out, poking each one's heads and jumping like crazy. I miss these..
As the sem break approaches, i look back to the first months of college, and how it had changed me.
I had seen independence in me, and the trials had made me stronger.
I will surely miss college, the way that i have missed high school...
I will miss myself, the way that i have missed me...
*Gotta go, i need to review for our final exams!

Friday, September 30, 2005

The 2003 inter school quiz bee held in Tarlac State University, Laboratory School, the event where I saw Raymond again...personally. Time is 8am...Miss him..hehe..Yun lang, i need to memorize my speech for tomorrow, a speech about a crap..hihihi..=)Ayeee!!!

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

I can't believe that what i had blabbed in my blogs in the past (2) week(s?) is not that true...That was not really the dark side.He does not have that so-called thing.This day is one of the good ones, i daresay.Happy Birthday to my bud, jaffy...Miss yeow, and to our "admired", matt (not the real name). Dude, saw you a while ago...Did ya hear me singin a song for you? The "guy next row" is taking a positive turn towards life and me. We got the highest score in PE (modern dance) which was highly unexpected, especially by me...my feet were both stuck on the floor, i'm not that good at dancing...and don't wish to see me singing, either. Me and mah buddies made a late afternoon stroll at the mall while quietly watching the lashing of strong winds outside the mall. We went home at about 5:30, with the great difficulty of finding a cab in the middle of the storm. I got up on my room and cuddled up in my bed at around 6pm with a few stories to share with my roommates who were always eager to listen. Yesterday is one fine day. Miss Saigon is a sure hit with that engineer who looks strangely like vernon...Speaking of, i saw him a while ago with his..i mean OUR grandma (wonder what they're up to?).Days are going on ...I've gotta review for my chem quiz tomorrow, i don't want to find myself banging my feet against the floor again...See yah soon...It's always the one whom i have not seen who makes me smile...I'll be waiting until the glimpse of your face brushes my eyes again.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Honestly, i'm too thrilled about making a long one, but sadly, i must keep it short and sweet coz i have loads of homework still left unfinished, and this article that needs elaboration... Our theology class was not as bad as it was, though i was told off by our teacher to keep my logic notes or else i'll lose it. Can't get enough of Venn Diagrams and fallacies to achieve that so-so high grade. English is as good as always because of reasons this blog will never say. Filipino made me wheeze and sneeze, and PE drove me to exhaustion, as always. Rj has a new picture in friendster...He still looks good even with all that pimples...By the way, he's Cinderella's prince in their repertory's presentation. AdMU people, please watch it, September 24, 2005...
Bye for now!!!

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Now, don't get me wrong, but i think "the guy next row" is crushing on one of my buds (not one of the closest). Actually, i can't blame him. That is because it is clearly seen that she reminds him of his "old flame", with the obvious exception of her kind of fame which is simpler. Well, of course, i do not have an ounce of right to be angry at her, or at him. As i said, she's one of my pals and she's really kind and all that. After all, I am only assuming that he does like her. But the truth that i can feel it deep in my bones everytime he looks at her is undeniable. I can't help but feel the sickening feeling that settles down in my stomach everytime he sits beside her. I know i am sounding tad weird and stupid, but what can i do? I'm just a hopeless girl hoping for the numb guy to spend even a minute of his time to talk with me.
As i was pondering about this, it suddenly struck my mind that once, i had made an agreement with fate that i am surrendering my chances of having him just so as to have good grades. To set him aside to concentrate on more important things...
I'm hopeless...and i guess that's all i'll ever be...

Friday, September 16, 2005

I'm doing my best this finals, doing my best so as to get a grade of 99 (???). Yeah I know it's a "when pigs fly" thing, but it's worth trying, who knows? I know pigs will never fly, but I see cows who can (how 'bout supercow?). Anyway, thanks for the help, wey and naths...you two really helped me get through that total depression which had nearly sinked me out. Thanks guys! Anyway, the past few days brought me to the realization that grades are not the measure of a man (and woman, if you say so), and a person's gender orientation is not the foundation of his identity. It is entirely normal to accept and show what you really are, regardless of what others may say...and with that, I admired him even more... And I will still speak of his name and love chemistry as he does..Hehe..=)

Wednesday, September 14, 2005


I want to control myself from bursting, but I can't. That freaky chemistry grade just bugs me..It throws me out of this world...My grades had apparently gone super LOW. I never had such grade...That's totally dead depressing, I don't know what to do...or think. I'm thinking about doing my bet in the finals, giving off my best shot, but I guess it won't make any difference.. Mom & dad were definitely not thrilled about the news..but I reckon they were horrified about it..I'm losing my grip in this life, and time is running out for me...I'm waiting for September to end so I would be free from my own prison called stupidity.I want to go straight to the finals..I know it is my mistake, my grades are the aftermath of my thinking and the nights I spent doing almost nothing. College is not easy as I thought it would be... I'm aiming to be a DEAN'S lister, but that seems to be totally out of my realm right now..totally, totally out of my reach...And I'm thinking on how will I get through the quota of 500 when all hell had broken loose this day?That was a major subject I got damned, and I'm not expecting any line of 9 this time (even in the easiest subject, English). I'm feeling sorry for myself...for me being so dumb. I'm so somber, I can't help but cry...thanks to my chums, Marlon, Mommie, JayR, Tine, and all the others who tried to wipe my tears, but it is only I who can do the total healing...Thanks again, anyway...Even Vernon or Raymond won't take the pain away.To mom & dad, hope you'll be able to fix the necessary papers asap..I'm running out of reasons to stay.. I'm losing hope...on seeing the guy of 5 years, and in having even just a minute to talk to "the guy next row"...

So I say bye..post a new blog soon. hope it'll be better than this one...a whole lot better.

(Aaaahhh...thank God for dogs.they soothe my soul)