Friday, November 10, 2006

the past year..

This WAS college..

March 18, 2006

college was the first word I have ever written on the first day of college, and it was also the last..

college is the word i lived by everyday of my life, and microbiology is the worst subject i ever had..hehe =)

i was freakin out at the thought of leaving highschool and mingling with people of the other race..

i imagined people of shallow minds.. people who do not care about anything but fashion, gigs, and the like..but two weeks of stay proved me wrong

closing cycles: no one wants to do this, but life itself says it is a necessity,,

i never imagined i will meet the same personalities i have known since high school.. people who do not measure the worth of a human being by insignificant figures..

this block is more than meets the eye.. one might think they're just a bunch of geeks and nerds who is too serious to crack a joke..

we're not

actually, we are famous for our revolutionary minds (mga rallyista, kumbaga), at mga notwithstanding health conditions kuno (kaya nagfefaint)

this is my last day as a louisian, unless bumaliktad ang panahon at mabigyan ako ng chance..

thanks for the company..

i will never forget you and i will miss you as i will miss myself pag wala na ko..

college is definitely one of the best moments of my life..

dudes, you will always be here in my heart..

sana wag nyo rin akong kalimutan...

before i leave..laglagan muna

si marlon, kay _ustria (tanga ang di makakahula nyan)

si jay-r, kay froggy (alam nyo na rin yun)

si mommie, kay vin zon (duh, hindi naman obvious)

at ako.. sina

pl****o, froggy rin, **j***o, **a*...


Bye guys.. see you around (hope so)

Sunday, March 12, 2006

..i hate microbiology

Monday, February 13, 2006

hey dudes..

not that i'm grumbling because i have no date, that is soooo freakin jerk stupid to do so..
anyway, i'll be hanging out with my buds later and i can't wait to see lovers pacing 'round the mall, holding each other's hand and expressing their love (so much for the PDA, eh?)

i would not ask for anythin more than to feel the love in the air..
not the kind of love that includes commitment..
it's just that i realized how broad love's territory is

who needs the crush when friends are there to join in your laughing and comfort you when you're down

parents to teach you how to fight and to point out things you should prioritize

and of course, God to let you live and fill life with memories of forever

valentine's day does not always mean chocolates and flowers
it does mean revealing your true feelings, or cursing that person who broke your heart

jessica zafra said:valentine's day seems like business

right.. cinemas and restaurants are on the peak of their profit for dating couples, throwing away money for all those things that does not really express how the heart feels..

i'm not groaning

a lover is not essential to enjoy this day

i'm just grateful i have my life, and all i wish is for him to finally find his direction

i miss him so much


Friday, December 30, 2005

tapos ko na ang micro bio ko!!!
but there's a flaw.. i dunno if all the things i have typed are he correct words to shield myself from oda's terrifying consequences bweh!
well, at last i'll be able to celebrate the new year with a BANG!!!
kasi tapos na ang 1/100000 ng kalbaryo ko...
oh...yan, marami pa akong pagdadaanan at di ko pa rin nakikita si monmon my lab...
sa ngayon, chuva chenes muna akoi...
(tila yata naging vaklush aketch?)
see yah mah buds!!! i miss yah!!

Monday, December 19, 2005

yang microbio na yan!!!
kahit kelan talaga! kulang na lang, pakainin kami nga bacteria sa sobrang hirap ng test!!! sana nga..kahit kumain pa ako ng bacteria, pumasa lang ako..tutal naman, bacteria si raymond nuon..(pakiconnect)
so..ayun, baba ko na naman sa anaphysio, yun na nga lang ang pinakamadali naming subject, ang baba ko pa, baka talaga ako, oh!
wehehe.. anyway, malapit na ang pasko pero hindi ko maramdaman..bakit?
hanggang ngayon kasi, parang mahal na araw pa rin kasi may prelim exams pa kami..iniisip ko pa lang, para na akong nagugutom, kaya ayan, minamadali ko na itong blog na ito para makakain naman ako..
oo nga pala, nag-freelance na ako.. kailangan ko muna sigurong dumistansya sa mga friendly friends ko para makabawi naman sa mga pagkakamali ko..
hai.. hirap talaga ng buhay, nga pala, kinalimutan ko na ang kulay rosas na hayop na yun..marami pa naman mas matino dyan..
wala na yatang matinong araw dito sa eskwelahang ito, at prinoproblema ko pa ang journal sa microbio..kebulok naman kasi ng library ditets!!wala akong makalkal na apicomplexa sa mga amoy amag na librong yun!!actually naman kasi, mas matanders pa sa kin yun!!
ayan, makakapaglaro na naman ako sa kompyuter ni alron later, pagkatapos kumain..well, sana sa susunod matino na ang entry ko, yun lang!

Monday, December 12, 2005

hai..mga tao talaga..laging nangangarap maging iba..
eh wala namang pag-asa.. makuntento na sa kung anong hayop ka...
wag mafeeling, hindi ka kyut..daig mo pa nga ang acute..
pati c pringles, ginaya mo!! kawawa naman!!!
syet, feeling mo!! kaphal ng mukha! kabilib ka, tol!
mas masahol ka pa sa mga taong kinainisan ko!!
may mas malala pa pala kay jerky grindylow idiot dork!! ang sama ng ugali mo!! bakit pa ba kita nagustuhan!!!
straight ka nga, pero ang personality mo, daig pa ang zigzag ng baguio!!!

life is not so great here, kahit na we're dealing with bacteria pa..reminds me of the silly codenames used nung elementary...haha...

haiii.. sa vacation.. patuloy ko pa ring sinusubaybayan ang buhay ni c****..silo ako sa mga words nya, at nagimprove ang bokabularyo ko, in fairness..pero siyempre, lamang ka pa rin c wey ng mga 100000000 words pa...hehe
hey wey, walang pusa dito..
hirap ng walang bodjie, dagul, mutya at bulok..nga pala, may bago kaming aso, c stoopido at si scoobidoo, kambal sila.. BABY...
sa maniwala ka't sa hindi, naglulukot pa rin akong mukha kapag nakikita ko ang mga pusang lansangan dito...cute kasi..
miss ko na rin si monmon..
gurrrl, homo cya, hindi bi...
lungkot ever...

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

i must say it had not started, and yet, it will now end...

all dreams had shattered when my chum told me about it, i know should not have expected anything...

i had gladly given him up for the sake of my studies, and to find a more sensible one to replace him, but my senses say i should have known better that to foresee anything which, i know will never come true..

in was too stupid to see him, i should have shifted my attention to other things...

till then, i wish for your happiness...


Monday, November 21, 2005

let's get this straight... that microbiology scores bugs me... i hope i could get over it soon... awww.. missin my home again, kasi naman, katabi ko na naman yung bintana, ang lamig lamig pa naman, so the wave of nostalgia overcame my senses... so here i am, feelin totally alone again..

i just realized "greene" is better than "pink" my point?
it is simply is the color of the animal that he represents..wehe...

a question, if you won't mind... we had our psychology a while ago and a question was flying in my mind..


noooo...don't get me wrong, curious lang...


it's freezing here..wish to see bliss in me again...
and i know exactly how to get it...

i need to read..


Saturday, November 19, 2005

cuaron, you jerk...
hey mike..
sorry, forgot your surname..
anyway, job well done..
grabe! haba ng pila...
now, i'm totally certain..
no one needs convincing..
harry potter is worth more than twice the movie ticket's price...
kahit thrice pa!!!
so for you, POTTER HATERS!!!
i'd say you are voldemort's lovers..
3 hours...
i would not mind...
as long as danny's there!
i'll watch this again..


i'm dreaming of goin to beauxbatons now...

though i'm not really of the veela type...hehe =)

Thursday, November 10, 2005

i'm groaning...

and i am kinda freakily jerky right now, wehe!
well, i got the class into loads of laughter again as i did nothing...hehe...weird? yep, the usual..dunno what kind of insanity is within me to make them laugh like that...
hey, im damn depressed again, thanks to that pesky ana physio quiz...i reviewed for the parts of the microscope when i knew all along that she's going to give the body systems...weerk!hey, i just said that the endocrine system is the one receiving raw thingies...
stupide ol' me!
nyway, thanks to mr. made my day complete again...even without vernon...
i saw anthony mallari know, the guy who looks like raymond and lives NEAR raymond...well, waddaya know! he's here again...
ahmissinmahhome again....
it's hard having 2, you know....
i'm thinkin, maybe i should change this to fawkesonline...
i found my bestfriend in a notebook...and a blog..

Friday, November 04, 2005


life's getting better that i had foreseen..after such a loooong time, i heard mon's's voice again on the line...and beat's not only the 2 seconds thing...

see, mon called my dormmate and talked about some things..he set the loudspeaker so that i can hear mon's voice...and guess what, dude!!!!his was still the best damn voice i ever set my ears on!!!waaah!they had an ordinary conversation, but as the dialogue continues, things were revealed to me...

mon is a certified..."you know what". he had done some "unusual" things that for me, is to think about. now, don't get me wrong, but i think he slowly brings his life to a total wreck...he's not the old mon that i "defended". i know, i had been wrong all along...i know i have seen that he's who everybody thinks he is...and here i am... denying, defending, hardly daring to believe it was true...wek!

anyway, the revelation of his true identity only made a dent in how i see him... it's just that his almost perfect facade had broken up into pieces, but the reality of who he is and how he is did not change my feelings for him... and now, i know...

there is still hope for me...

to hold on...

and wait...

Sunday, October 30, 2005

this morning, after doing some reflections and moony moonies, i had concluded this: i have always thought theirs was the almost perfect life. almost everything a man could desire is embedded in their veins. They have virtually everything for people to appreciate - and admire them. Only to find out that i was wrong. They may have the money, the looks, and the personality, which are all useful one way or another. Still,they have faults, which are "unchangeable". they cannot be soothed over - but accepted by other people.
i stared at the places where he had left his mark in his younger years. All those memories of "the other" and "greene" seemed to have leaked out of my brain. All of the things about them just ebbed away.
now, i know.. i have liked him, not only because he is handsome
...or a sage
...or a talented bloke
i liked him because he is who he is...
and that's where this was built...
and this, not even "the other" can change...

Thursday, October 13, 2005

(from my entry in Fawkes: My Very Secret Diary)

Home at last! Ah, here I am, it's my birthday today and I had not felt a single twinge of excitement. Not that i do not appreciate another year of my life, but it all seemed gloomy... Unlike my birthday last year wherein all of the world's luck was beside me. Today had been one ordinary day for me. I filled myself up with some films - shrek 2, spongebob (baby) squarepants, & lemony snicket's a series of unfortunate events. My present and former classmates greeted me and my parents prepared a sumptuous dinner, but I must admit I still feel this emptiness.. I'm really missing my pesky classes.. Yeah, I know they're difficult and everything, but at least I was able to fill my mind with wisdom as each day passes... able to fill my mind with wisdom as each day passes

I'm meeting my high school buds tomorrow, can't wait to tell some stories and hear some..
I sure missed them.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

I'm some sort of er..."sniffy" right now...
It's the start of our finals, signalling the end of the semester. It all started off with our Theology teacher delivering her "last message" to us all. She discussed the recent topic to us, and after doing so, she faced us and sighed, saying: "...And that ends Religion 1". I just can't help but feel lonely. I will miss this class, though it had sometimes drove me to boredom. And it goes the same with our English class, where i was the second to the last of the prayer leaders, and our Filipino class where we had our loooong quiz.. Even our P.E. class was not in its usual atmosphere. Everyone was busy practicing for the upcoming finals that no one had enough time to sit down and chat. I know the exact reason why i am feeling such loneliness... It is because i know there is a huge possibility that this is the last time i will see my blockmates. Yeah, i had been with them for such a short stretch of time, and i admit i was wrong in what i said at first. I always have the wrong impression of things. My high school buds do not get off the line when it comes to memories, but this later bunch seemed to had brought a box full, not only teeming with memories, but with experiences which i did not have in my younger years.
This day went fine, including our quiz in computer and our final test in chemistry laboratory, my favorite subject (ironically speaking). I have accepted that i do not stand a chance with the "guy next row", thereby letting go of my daydreams about him. I had already told my friend about myself crushing on "her guy" and i was totally surprised when she told me it was nothing...
The weather here is so damn good, i can feel it in my veins.. Reminds me of my high school days wherein we usually walk on the driveway, laughing our hearts out, poking each one's heads and jumping like crazy. I miss these..
As the sem break approaches, i look back to the first months of college, and how it had changed me.
I had seen independence in me, and the trials had made me stronger.
I will surely miss college, the way that i have missed high school...
I will miss myself, the way that i have missed me...
*Gotta go, i need to review for our final exams!

Friday, September 30, 2005

The 2003 inter school quiz bee held in Tarlac State University, Laboratory School, the event where I saw Raymond again...personally. Time is 8am...Miss him..hehe..Yun lang, i need to memorize my speech for tomorrow, a speech about a crap..hihihi..=)Ayeee!!!

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

I can't believe that what i had blabbed in my blogs in the past (2) week(s?) is not that true...That was not really the dark side.He does not have that so-called thing.This day is one of the good ones, i daresay.Happy Birthday to my bud, jaffy...Miss yeow, and to our "admired", matt (not the real name). Dude, saw you a while ago...Did ya hear me singin a song for you? The "guy next row" is taking a positive turn towards life and me. We got the highest score in PE (modern dance) which was highly unexpected, especially by feet were both stuck on the floor, i'm not that good at dancing...and don't wish to see me singing, either. Me and mah buddies made a late afternoon stroll at the mall while quietly watching the lashing of strong winds outside the mall. We went home at about 5:30, with the great difficulty of finding a cab in the middle of the storm. I got up on my room and cuddled up in my bed at around 6pm with a few stories to share with my roommates who were always eager to listen. Yesterday is one fine day. Miss Saigon is a sure hit with that engineer who looks strangely like vernon...Speaking of, i saw him a while ago with his..i mean OUR grandma (wonder what they're up to?).Days are going on ...I've gotta review for my chem quiz tomorrow, i don't want to find myself banging my feet against the floor again...See yah soon...It's always the one whom i have not seen who makes me smile...I'll be waiting until the glimpse of your face brushes my eyes again.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Honestly, i'm too thrilled about making a long one, but sadly, i must keep it short and sweet coz i have loads of homework still left unfinished, and this article that needs elaboration... Our theology class was not as bad as it was, though i was told off by our teacher to keep my logic notes or else i'll lose it. Can't get enough of Venn Diagrams and fallacies to achieve that so-so high grade. English is as good as always because of reasons this blog will never say. Filipino made me wheeze and sneeze, and PE drove me to exhaustion, as always. Rj has a new picture in friendster...He still looks good even with all that pimples...By the way, he's Cinderella's prince in their repertory's presentation. AdMU people, please watch it, September 24, 2005...
Bye for now!!!

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Now, don't get me wrong, but i think "the guy next row" is crushing on one of my buds (not one of the closest). Actually, i can't blame him. That is because it is clearly seen that she reminds him of his "old flame", with the obvious exception of her kind of fame which is simpler. Well, of course, i do not have an ounce of right to be angry at her, or at him. As i said, she's one of my pals and she's really kind and all that. After all, I am only assuming that he does like her. But the truth that i can feel it deep in my bones everytime he looks at her is undeniable. I can't help but feel the sickening feeling that settles down in my stomach everytime he sits beside her. I know i am sounding tad weird and stupid, but what can i do? I'm just a hopeless girl hoping for the numb guy to spend even a minute of his time to talk with me.
As i was pondering about this, it suddenly struck my mind that once, i had made an agreement with fate that i am surrendering my chances of having him just so as to have good grades. To set him aside to concentrate on more important things...
I'm hopeless...and i guess that's all i'll ever be...

Friday, September 16, 2005

I'm doing my best this finals, doing my best so as to get a grade of 99 (???). Yeah I know it's a "when pigs fly" thing, but it's worth trying, who knows? I know pigs will never fly, but I see cows who can (how 'bout supercow?). Anyway, thanks for the help, wey and two really helped me get through that total depression which had nearly sinked me out. Thanks guys! Anyway, the past few days brought me to the realization that grades are not the measure of a man (and woman, if you say so), and a person's gender orientation is not the foundation of his identity. It is entirely normal to accept and show what you really are, regardless of what others may say...and with that, I admired him even more... And I will still speak of his name and love chemistry as he does..Hehe..=)

Wednesday, September 14, 2005


I want to control myself from bursting, but I can't. That freaky chemistry grade just bugs me..It throws me out of this world...My grades had apparently gone super LOW. I never had such grade...That's totally dead depressing, I don't know what to do...or think. I'm thinking about doing my bet in the finals, giving off my best shot, but I guess it won't make any difference.. Mom & dad were definitely not thrilled about the news..but I reckon they were horrified about it..I'm losing my grip in this life, and time is running out for me...I'm waiting for September to end so I would be free from my own prison called stupidity.I want to go straight to the finals..I know it is my mistake, my grades are the aftermath of my thinking and the nights I spent doing almost nothing. College is not easy as I thought it would be... I'm aiming to be a DEAN'S lister, but that seems to be totally out of my realm right now..totally, totally out of my reach...And I'm thinking on how will I get through the quota of 500 when all hell had broken loose this day?That was a major subject I got damned, and I'm not expecting any line of 9 this time (even in the easiest subject, English). I'm feeling sorry for myself...for me being so dumb. I'm so somber, I can't help but cry...thanks to my chums, Marlon, Mommie, JayR, Tine, and all the others who tried to wipe my tears, but it is only I who can do the total healing...Thanks again, anyway...Even Vernon or Raymond won't take the pain away.To mom & dad, hope you'll be able to fix the necessary papers asap..I'm running out of reasons to stay.. I'm losing hope...on seeing the guy of 5 years, and in having even just a minute to talk to "the guy next row"...

So I say a new blog soon. hope it'll be better than this one...a whole lot better.

(Aaaahhh...thank God for dogs.they soothe my soul)